


Lexa Lives

by LegacyMermaid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 02:10:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8779036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegacyMermaid/pseuds/LegacyMermaid
Summary: There are other ways than death to remove a character from a show.





	1. Saving Her Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke refuses to let Lexa die.

“I don’t want your spirit, I want you!” Clarke could barely see Lexa through the tears in her eyes, but she never stopped looking into Lexa’s eyes.  
Lexa smiled, “I’m so cold and so tired.”  
“I know, but you have to stay awake. Look at me Lexa, don’t look away.” Clarke pressed the cloth to Lexa’s abdomen with all the strength she had. “What the fuck are you doing, Titus?! Help me save the Commander!!” Titus only continued to calmly unpack his strange ritual kit, which Clarke knew was a bad sign.  
Just then Octavia entered, growing eager to leave for Arkadia, “Clarke, it’s time to- what the fuck happened?!”  
Upon Octavia’s appearance, Clarke was hit with an idea. It was risky as hell, but she would do anything to save Lexa; she needed her. She wanted her. “Octavia, go bring your horse around to the nearest door.” Quickly, Clarke stuffed the swath deep into Lexa’s wound and tied a long strip around her as tight as she could, hoping it would keep the bleeding under control for long enough. Lexa quickly fainted from the pain.  
After checking Lexa’s pulse, Clarke rinsed her own hands of the Nightblood in the still-full bathing basin, Clarke collected herself, grabbed a stack of furs from Lexa’s bed, and calmly walked back over to where Titus was now running a bloody black finger down his own forehead. “Titus, wrap her in these.”  
Titus did not move, “I need to complete the first part of the ritual; I need to pray over her before she dies.”  
“She is not going to die!” Clarke grabbed his kit and shoved in hard to his chest, “now wrap her and carry her to Octavia’s horse.  
Again, Titus did not move, he simply began to set up the tools once more.  
Furious. and without thinking, Clarke grabbed the gun from the floor where Titus had dropped it and held it against the man’s head. “Get up. Wrap her in these and carry her to the horse. Or do you want the death of the Commander and the end of the conclave to both be your fault?” Slowly, Titus re-wrapped his instruments and did as he was told.  
When they reached the doors, Octavia was waiting with two horses; her own and the one Semet had ridden in on. She then helped Titus carefully drape Lexa’s almost lifeless body over the front of Octavia’s horse, pulling the blankets from her face. Mounting the horse behind her, Clarke looked down at Lexa and gently brushed the woman’s long brown hair behind her ear. “Stay with me, Commander,” Clarke whispered.  
Octavia jumped onto Semet’s horse and led the way back to Arkadia.

After what seemed to Clarke like an eternity, they finally reached the gates of Skaikru territory. Quickly, Clarke pulled the blanket over Lexa’s face to hide her presence from the guards. “I am here to ensure that peace is kept.” Reluctantly, and with their weapons drawn, the guards opened the gates and allowed the women’s passage.  
Having heard the commotion outside, Abby ran and embraced Clarke as she dismounted the horse, “Clarke! Thank God you’re back home safe!”  
“I’m fine, mom, just really tired. Let’s go to my room.” She wrapped her ram around her mother’s waste and made sure that Octavia was the one to unload Lexa- presumed by everyone else to be Clarke’s luggage from Polis- and led the way inside.

When they finally reached Clarke’s room, before Abby could ask any questions, Octavia gently laid the bundle of blankets on the bed and unwrapped the Heda. By now, the dark blood inside her had soaked all the way through the dressings Clarke had placed.  
Abby quickly stepped back, “Clarke, are you insane? You can’t bring into Arkadia! You know what Pike has been doing with all the Grounders, even the ones close to death!”  
“I had no other choice, mom! I need her to live for this alliance to work! She is the only thing keeping us from going to war with the Grounders!”  
“Clarke, it is too risky. We can’t take her to the infirmary and suspicion will quickly be raised when I try and bring all the supplies I need into your room!”  
“Mom, please. I love her!!” Clarke could not hold her composure any longer, she broke down into tears and all by collapsed on her bedroom floor, only just being caught by Octavia grabbing her and leading her to the edge of her bed. Abby simply stood there in stunned silence.  
Fed up, Octavia grabbed the former Chancellor by the shoulders and shook, “Abby. Abby! What supplies do you need?”  
“Ummm just tell Jackson I need supplies for an abdominal bullet wound.”  
After Octavia ran out and shut the door behind her, Abby knelt down next to her daughter and placed a hand on Clarke’s knee. “Ok, sweetheart, I’ll do the best I can.” She got up and bent over Lexa to check her vitals, which were very weak; “but I’m not sure she’ll make it.”  
“She is the Commander of the Thirteen Clans; she will make it. She has to.” Clarke knelt by the side of the bed where Lexa’s head was rested and bent down to kiss her forehead.  
Having seen the strength and leadership that Clarke possesses, witnessing her daughter’s heat breaking caused Abby to whisper almost inaudibly, “how did you grow up so fast?”

Octavia soon returned with a bag of supplies, “I would have returned sooner, but Jackson had a lot of questions. What do you need me to do?”  
All Clarke could do was watch in an almost catatonic state as Abby hurriedly exposed Lexa’s wounds and instructed Ocatvia. After stopping most of the black fluid with hemostats and sutures, Abby carefully reached in with forceps and removed the bullet from Lexa’s body. Almost immediately, another flood of darkness flowed from the wound. “Shit. Shit. Shit. Octavia, grab those gauze and apply as much pressure as you can.” Abby grabbed frantically for the portable laser cautery and took over Octavia’s position, burning the flesh closed. Just when they thought they were in the clear, the small vitals monitor began to flat line; “We’re losing her! Clarke, you need to start CPR. CLARKE!”  
Like being woke from a dream, Clarke quickly climbed onto the bed and began the rhythmic compressions. As she leaned down for a second time to breathe life into Lexa, she placed her tear-stained cheek against Lexa’s and whispered “please don’t leave. I love you.”  
Before Clarke could begin a third round of compressions, Lexa rolled on her side and coughed up blackness. The three women surrounding her sighed in collective relief and exhaustion. After releasing Octavia from a very unexpected hug, Abby smiled as watched as her daughter gently wiped the mouth of the woman she loved. Without saying a word, she grabbed Octavia by the elbow and led her out of the room.

Not recognizing her surroundings, Lexa attempted to sit up, “Clarke?”  
“I’m right here, I’m right here.” Clarke caught Lexa’s shoulders before they touched the bed again and sat so she was supporting the weight of the Commander’s upper body with her own.  
“The conclave,” Lexa whispered, confused.  
“They’re going to have to wait, because I am nowhere near done with you, Heda.” Clarke smiled and kissed Lexa’s forehead once more. She placed a finger on Lexa’s lips, which were prepared to protest. Gently, she replaced Lexa’s shoulders on the bed and next to her so they were facing each other, “we can talk later, for now you need to rest.”  
Right before they both drifted to sleep, Lexa managed to mutter, “I love you, too.”


	2. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is surprised (and a bit upset) to be alive.

Clarke woke the next day expecting for Lexa’s face to be the first thing she saw. But instead she was looking at her back. She moved to place her right arm around Lexa’s waist and hold her close, but when she did Lexa rolled over abruptly so they were once again face to face.  
Clarke smiled, “good morning, Commander.” Her voice was hoarse from previous night’s chaos. It was then that she noticed Lexa was staring at her with an expression that greatly resembled contempt. Clarke propped herself up on her left elbow. “What’s wrong?”  
With great difficulty, Lexa sat up, moved to the edge of the bed and placed her still-booted feet on the floor. “I am still alive.”  
“I know, it’s basically a miracle!” Clarke followed Lexa to the edge of the bed; she put her hand on Lexa’s shoulder and once again was denied.  
“I was ready to die; I was at peace with my fate.” Lexa snapped her head quick shot Clarke another piercing stare, “You knew that.”  
“I know.” Clarke looked down, unable to look into the eyes that once expressed their desire for her. “But I wasn’t. You might think it was selfish, but I think I’ve spent my entire town on the ground thinking only about what was best for my people. And in the end, having you alive is the best thing for my people; for everyone!” When she did find the courage to look at Lexa, Clarke had tears running down her face.  
Not without struggle and pain, Lexa stood and went to the sheer-curtained window, “Aden swore fealty to you. He is a strong, brave warrior and leader.”  
“What if your spirit hadn’t picked Aden? We don’t know what the other children think of me; of my people. The first thing they could have done was order a massacre on us!” Clarke didn’t bother getting off the bed.  
“I could feel it, the spirits of the Commanders before me were telling me it will be him.” Lexa shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.  
Clarke finally rose and placed a blanket on Lexa’s shoulders. “You lost a lot of blood and you have a fever, you need to rest. Please, Lexa.”  
Lexa accepted the blanket, but she didn’t move.  
“So you’re just going to give up and let yourself die from infection? You’re alive! Embrace it and fight!” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s right shoulder and forced her to face her.  
Continuing to turn, Lexa once more walked away from Clarke, and walked about the room, looking at all the strange things she had never seen before. Clarke’s room was so mechanical, cold and dark, compared to her own. “I can’t stay here in Arkadia. It’s too dangerous. I don’t know how you got me in, but you need to get me out. Now. My people will be wondering where I am.”  
“Titus agreed to tell them that you are meditating writing a new treaty for the thirteen clans and are not to be disturbed for a few days. We’ll get you back there soon, I promise. But you won’t be going anywhere anytime soon if you don’t rest and allow yourself to heal.”  
Lexa turned to face Clarke, “I would like to sleep in my own room.”  
Feeling like she had just been punched in the stomach, Clarke took a step back. “This isn’t your tower in Polis, there are no free rooms. And even if there were, I don’t want to let you out of my sight.”  
Moving slowly, Lexa moved toward the big, plush, dark blue chair that had scorch marks along the top. “Then I will sleep here.”  
“No you won’t, I will sleep there and you can have the bed.” Placing her right hand on the small of Lexa’s back, she guided her to the bed once more. After pulling back the blankets, Clarke helped Lexa sit on the edge of the bed and removed her boots. She then lifted the Commander’s legs and placed them on the bed, so Lexa’s head was finally on a pillow. Gently she replaced the blankets over Lexa.  
Lexa coughed and black splattered on the pillow. “I’m thirsty.”  
Clarke sprang from the bed and opened the bedroom door slightly. By this time Clarke had allowed one more person to know of Lexa’s presence: Miller. He was standing guard just outside the door. “Can you please get a cup and a bowl of cool water?”  
“I need to report to Pike soon, Octavia is about to take my place, I will tell her to bring them.”  
Clarke closed the door, leaning against it for a moment, she took in the state of her room. Needing to find something to keep her busy, she went about picking up all the black swatches of cloth and throwing them in a pile next to the door; when Octavia came with the water, Clarke would have her take them to the burn pile.  
There was a rhythmic knock on the door, the sign that it was one of three people. Clarke opened it and took the cup and bowl from Octavia. “How is she?” Octavia asked, peeking into the room.  
“Really mad to be alive, actually. I never got a chance to thank you for all you did, Octavia. She wouldn’t be alive if you hadn’t been there.” Clarke’s voice cracked as she tried to keep from crying again.  
“Of course. We need her alive.” Then, seeing the look of exasperation on Clarke’s face, Octavia placed her hand on her shoulder and added, “you need her.” Clarke smiled and Octavia closed the door.  
Clarke set the bowl down on a table, scooped a cupful of water from it, sat on the bed and propped Lexa up so she could drink the water. Then she ripped the sleeve from one of the few shirts of hers that wasn’t stained black, soaked it in the bowl and placed it on Lexa’s burning forehead, and they sat in silence. It was almost unbearable, but Clarke knew there was nothing she could say that wouldn’t upset Lexa, so she just sat there until the Lexa fell asleep.  
By this time, it was nearly dusk, so Clarke kept her promise, grabbed a blanket and sat in the chair. She just sat, staring at Lexa, not thinking there was any way she would be able to sleep. But slowly, she drifted off into a fitful slumber.


	3. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's healing doesn't go as well as Clarke had hoped

The next couple days were filled with little more than visits from Abby between bits of restless sleep - for both Lexa and Clarke. The only time Clarke left Lexa’s side was to make an overdue appearance with Pike.  
“Welcome back Miss Griffin, please sit. I see you were treated well in Polis.” Pike was sitting behind his desk with a smirk on his face.  
Not moving from her position just inside the door, Clarke gritted her teeth. “Yes, that is how they treat you when you are respected and seeking to enact peace among people.”  
“How can you talk about seeking peace when they have set up a barricade around our camp?”  
“They are simply trying to protect what’s theirs; what has been theirs for almost 100 years. The Commander only wants what’s best for the thirteen clans. We are the thirteenth clan, Chancellor.”  
“Ah yes, the Commander of the clans,” Pike said as he traced a circular scorch mark on the metal table with his middle finger. “You seem to have a very personal relationship with this girl.”  
Clarke didn’t move. “I am trying to do what is best for our people.”  
“By spending more time with her than you do with the people you claim to be protecting?” Once again, Pike looked at Clarke with a barely noticeable grin.  
With that, Clarke marched over and practically slammed both her hands on the desk. “Did you want something specific from me, Pike?”  
Pike leaned back and put up both his hands in mock surrender, “I simply wanted to welcome you back home.”  
Just then, Bellamy opened the door, “you wanted to see me, sir?” Seeing Clarke, he stopped short of the threshold.  
Clarke stood up straight as she walked past Bellamy, looking right through him.

 

That night, Clarke dreamt of Lexa.  
She saw the woman’s smiling face, her beautifully captivating eyes looking back at her as Clarke sat behind her on a horse. They were riding from Polis to Arkadia, because Pike had finally reached out, seeking peace.   
Suddenly, Lexa’s expression changed from blissful hope to emptiness and despair as she looked down at where Clarke’s hands were wrapped around her waist: they were covered in cold, black blood. Instantly rain began to fall as Lexa slumped over onto Clarke. Stopping the horse, Clarke dismounted and carefully pulled Lexa to the ground in front of her. “It’s fine. You’re going to be fine, Lexa.” Clarke tried to stop the bleeding, but the harder she pressed, the faster it seemed to flow.  
“Someone help!” Clarke screamed as thunder clashed above her. But there was no one around; all she could do was sit there and watch the woman she loved die right before her eyes.

“Clarke. Clarke!” Clarke woke violently, almost hitting Octavia in the face.  
“Lexa! Where’s Lexa, is she ok?!” Clarke looked imploringly at Octavia as she struggled to get up for the chair she now used as a bed.  
“She’s right here, Clarke.” Abby was kneeling beside the bed helping Lexa drink, when she moved aside so her daughter could see she had only been dreaming.  
Clarke scrambled over to the bed and knelt beside her mother. “Thank god,” she whispered as she clasped Lexa’s limp left hand in her own and raised it to her lips.  
“Her fever is still very high, Clarke, she’s not out of the woods quite yet.” Replacing the cup on the table, Abby handed Clarke a wet cloth, which she gently pressed to Lexa’s face and chest.  
Weakly, Lexa looked at Clarke, “I’m fine, I need to get back to Polis.” She coughed and inhaled sharply, removing her hand from Clarke’s and holding it to her stomach.  
Clarke’s left hand followed, landing once more on Lexa’s. Dropping the cloth, Clarke cradled Lexa’s face in her right hand. “No, you’re not, Lexa. You need to stay here and heal. You’d never endure the journey to Polis.” Intertwining their fingers together over Lexa’s wound, Clarke settled down on her knees. “Octavia has brought word that Titus is coming to visit you tomorrow.”  
Stepping forward, Octavia placed a reassuring hand on Clarke’s shoulder and looked at Lexa, “his main concern is also for your health.” She gave Lexa a quick smile and left the room to stand guard outside the door.  
With a look of dread, Lexa attempted to prop herself up with her left elbow, but ended up dropping back down on the pillow. “I can’t let him see me weak like this!”  
“Stop trying to get up, and you might heal faster,” Clarke said impatiently.  
“Here, rub this on the wound three times a day, and drink this twice a day.” Abby placed a round tin of fragrant brown paste and a small purple glass vial on the table. “I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours.” She looked from Lexa to Clarke, “get some sleep.” As she reached the door, Abby paused briefly to look back at her daughter lovingly tending to Lexa.  
Clarke dipped the cloth in the bowl once more and laid it across Lexa’s forehead. “You are getting better, you know. You just need to give your body time to heal. You’re the strongest person I know; you’ll come back from this better than before.” Clarke smiled as she tried to keep from crying. “You rest, I’ll be back with some food.”

When Clarke had closed the door behind her, Octavia placed a hand on her shoulder. “Titus is growing impatient, Clarke. He’s bringing some grounder medicine with him tomorrow; from Nyko’s stores.”  
Clarke turned around slowly, “Nyko’s inventory contains poisons, Octavia, which he tried to use to kill Lincoln, if you don’t remember.”  
“I know, but a lot has changed since then; you have gained their trust and respect. They have lived all this time using this medicine to heal people who have been wounded by the guns of the Mountain Men, we should…” the mention of the Mountain Men caused Clarke to shrug herself free from Octavia’s hand. Aware of her mistake, Octavia placed her hand at her side, but didn’t relent, “we should give them a chance.”   
Looking at the door, like she could see through to the dying woman in her bed, Clarke’s shoulders fell. “Fine. But I am going to make Titus prepare three doses: one for Lexa, one for me, and one for himself.” Then she turned, straightened up and walked away.


	4. Exile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No longer Commander, Lexa cannot stay.

When Lexa woke the next morning, Clarke had moved her chair to the end of the bed and was looking from Lexa to her drawing pad and back; her left hand making broad strokes with a piece of charcoal. When she saw Lexa was awake, she smiled, placed the drawing pad on the chair and walked to sit on the bed next to her. “Sorry, I just had to record the way the morning sun caught your beauty.” She looked down as she wiped her charcoal-covered hands on her pants.  
Lexa placed her left hand on Clarke’s. When Clarke looked at her, she smiled, “I can’t wait to see the finished product.”   
“Well, you’re going to have to wait until tomorrow, because both you and the sun have moved positions.” She rose and moved the chair back to the wall, sat back down next to Lexa, and placed the back of her hand on Lexa’s forehead and frowned. “Your fever has gone down a little, but it hasn’t quite broken.” She helped Lexa take a sip from the purple vial Abby left them, and opened the tin for Lexa to apply the paste to her wound. But when she turned to hold out the tin, Lexa had already lifted her shirt to reveal the long row of stitches outlined in red, inflamed skin. Lexa didn’t say anything, but simply smiled and nodded, encouraging Clarke to apply the paste herself.  
Clarke swiped her index and middle finger through the brown paste and rubbed it on Lexa’s wound as gently as she could. When she felt Lexa tense beneath her touch, Clarke pulled her hand away. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”  
“You could never hurt me, Clarke.” Lexa clasped Clarke’s wrist, led her hand back to the wound and assisted in finishing the application. “It stings at first, but it does help dull the pain.” Clarke closed the tin and replaced it on the table. Lexa looked at the sheer curtains over the window. “When is Titus getting here?”  
Less than thrilled to be reminded of his impending arrival, Clarke rose and started folding the blankets on her chair, “he should be here just before dinner tonight. Octavia is sneaking him in through the tunnels and a loose wall panel, the way I snuck in a few weeks ago to try and talk sense into Bellamy. Which I failed miserably at.”  
Lexa struggled, but succeeded in pulling herself up into a seated position. “He’ll come around, Clarke. If he’s the man you say he is, he’ll see that Pike’s leadership is damaging your people.”  
Acting as though she hadn’t heard Lexa, Clarke dropped the last blanket on the chair, turned and smiled, “well, I’m starving, do you want me to bring you a bowl of creamed corn?”  
Not wanting to press Clarke more, Lexa nodded, “sure, sounds great.”  
“Great, I’ll be back soon.” Clarke left the room quickly.  
The rest of the day went by like all the others: Clarke teaching Lexa how to play chess. She caught on fast, Clarke knew she would. She was the Commander, after all, battle strategy was what she did best.

 

As the sun started to fade, the familiar rhythmic knock came from the other side of the door. When Clarke opened it, Octavia stepped aside to reveal Titus, smiling and holding a large sack. “Please, come in,” Clarke muttered as Titus all but shoved his way past her.  
“Heda, you still look ill,” Titus rushed to the bedside. “I have brought the medicine Nyko always used for those who suffered at the hands of the Mountain Men.”  
“I hope you brought enough for three,” Clarke said as she closed the door.  
“Yes, yes. Octavia told me about your precautions,” Titus retorted. “But I also brought an assortment of food for the Commander to enjoy; I can’t imagine you’re getting much variety, with the Sky People unable to go out and hunt.” He said this last comment looking over his shoulder at Clarke.  
“She can’t have anything too rich,” Clarke shot back. But Lexa was already chewing on the roasted leg of some small mammal.   
When they had finished eating, Titus opened a small sack that had been tied under the rope around his waist. He removed three small corked vials containing a milky liquid. “Three doses, as promised.” He grinned and handed one to each woman, keeping the third for himself. “Now, this blend is potent and meant to not only heal, but to also help with rest. So I am going to make myself a bed here on the floor.” He removed two large blankets from the sack he had brought with him and laid them out on the floor at the foot of the bed. With that, the three of them drank the entire contents of their vials and waited.   
It didn’t take long before Lexa was sleeping, appearing more peaceful than she had since arriving. Clarke smiled at her, sat down in her chair and covered herself with her blankets. Before she fell asleep, she looked over to where Titus was laying. His breathing was slow and even. Satisfied with the safety and effectiveness of the Grounder medicine, Clarke allowed herself to slip into dreamless sleep.

When Clarke woke the next morning, Titus was rolling up his bedding. She looked to the bed, where Lexa laid with her head in the crook of her left elbow, still sleeping peacefully. Quietly, Clarke walked over and placed the back of her hand on Lexa’s forehead once more. “Her fever’s broken, Nyko’s medicine worked.”  
“As I assured you it would,” said Titus proudly as he stuffed his bedding back into the sack.  
“I’ll go get her breakfast.” Clarke was smiling as she closed the door behind her.   
“What have you done?” Lexa was sitting up, looking at the black blood on her hand.  
“Good morning...”  
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Lexa’s voice filled Clarke’s small chambers with fury. She grabbed the knife Clarke had stashed under her mattress and ran at Titus, pinning him against the wall on the other side of the room. Lexa held the knife to his throat, just breaking the skin, so blood trickled down his neck.  
“Your emotions and feelings for Clarke were making you weak, Lexa. You were making decisions based on your heart, not your head; you have lost the strength to rule the twelve clans.”  
“There are thirteen clans now!” Lexa hissed as she applied more pressure to the knife.  
“That is a decision you made with your heart. Look where it has gotten you.”  
“I am here because of you!” Lexa hissed. She punched him with the deer antler handle of the knife, knocking him to the floor. This action, however, caused her stitches to break and she began to bleed.  
“You would not be here if you had been ruling with the strength you once had.” Titus kept his voice even. “Clarke was costing you that strength; I was trying to eliminate your weakness.”  
“If I have shown any weakness, it is because of you, Titus.” Even though the pain was unbearable, Lexa knelt on one knee beside Titus, pointing the knife at him with her right hand while applying pressure to her abdomen with her left. “Your constant insubordination and questioning of my authority in front of the leaders of the Clans is what made me appear weak.”  
Just then Clarke entered with a platter of food. When she saw the scene before her, and saw Lexa bleeding, the tray crashed to the floor as she rushed to help Lexa. “What the hell happened?”  
Lexa pushed Clarke away, leaving a black handprint on her chest. Keeping her knife and eyes pointed at Titus, Lexa pulled her hair over her shoulder to reveal a gash separating the two sides of her infinity tattoo. “He removed the spirit of the Commander.”  
“What are you talking about? Lexa, your wound has reopened. Please, you need to stop!” Once more, Clarke reached for Lexa. This time, Lexa held her hand up to stop Clarke in her tracks.  
“Not until he is subdued. Remove the rope around his waist and tie his hands to the bedpost,” Lexa demanded, pointing the knife from Titus to the metal pole on the corner of the bed.  
Quickly, Clarke did as she was told. When she had finished, but before she stepped away, Titus whispered so only the two of them could hear, “this is your fault, Wanheda.”   
Clarke grabbed one of the now empty metal cups from the floor and struck him across the back of the head, knocking him unconscious.  
“Lexa!” Clarke rushed over and caught Lexa as she was attempting to get up. After sitting Lexa in her chair, Clarke rushed to the door. “Miller, go tell my mom that Lexa’s stitches have ripped open and she is bleeding again. Hurry!” Hesitating for only a moment to process the orders, Miller turned and walked hurriedly toward the infirmary; he didn’t dare run, for fear of drawing attention and questions.  
Clarke closed the bedroom door and rushed to rip the hood from Titus’s robe. She knelt in front of Lexa and applied pressure to her wound.  
“He took the spirit. I can’t feel the previous Commanders anymore.” Lexa was limp and sweaty, shaking her head slowly with a look of agony on her face. Agony from the knowledge that she was no longer the Commander.  
Before Clarke could ask any more questions, Abby burst into the room. Barely pausing when she saw Titus tied up, she rushed to kneel next to Clarke. “Damnit! Lexa hold that blanket to your mouth, this is going to hurt.” When she pulled the small cautery laser from her bag, Clarke moved aside and grabbed Lexa’s free hand. As soon as she removed the wadded-up hood from the wound, Abby shot the laser into it. The only sounds heard were Lexa’s muffled moans and the popping and sizzling of her burning flesh. “I wanted to avoid cauterizing the wound completely shut, because there is a better chance of infection,” Abby said disappointedly as she leaned back on her heels and looked at the crude weld she had managed to perform on Lexa’s skin. “What the hell happened here?!” Having passed out from the pain, Lexa’s head lay limp on the back of the chair, revealing the incision on her neck.  
“I’m not totally sure.” Clarke looked at her mother in with confusion and worry, never letting go of Lexa’s hands.  
“Well, luckily it’s not too deep, so I should be able to suture it. But you need to make sure she stays in bed, Clarke.” Abby made quick work of stitching the infinity sign back together. “She’s going to require antibiotic injections now, and I don’t have many to spare. I can maybe manage to get you half of what she needs. The rest is going to be up to her body’s own ability to fight.” Abby rose and started packing her medical kit.  
“If there’s one thing Lexa knows how to do, it’s fight.” Tears running down her face, Clarke looked at Lexa and kissed her hands.   
“I’ll be back later today with the injections and more paste.” Abby leaned down, kissed the top of Clarke’s head and left.  
As Abby closed the door, Titus moaned awake.   
Clarke grabbed the knife Lexa had dropped, slid on her knees over to Titus and held the point at the hollow of his throat. “What did you do to her?” Tears were still falling, but Clarke’s voice was low and unwavering.  
“Lexa had become too weak, so I removed the spirit of the Commander.” Titus met Clarke’s gaze.  
“What do you mean you removed her spirit?” Lexa looked at Titus with disgusted confusion.  
“I can show you if you will untie me.”  
Slowly, and never removing her eyes from his, Clarke cut through the rope and released Titus’s hands. With one hand raised, he reached into the small sack that had held the vials and removed a rectangular tin box. Inside was what appeared to be an oddly shaped opaque stone, no bigger than a beetle. “This is the spirit of the Commander. Lexa is no longer worthy to carry it. It shall choose the next Heda.”  
“You cut that out of me, not knowing if I would survive.” Lexa was awake but still slumped in the chair, a look of disdain on her face.  
“While I accepted your death as a possibility, I knew that the first passing of the spirit took place while the original Commander was still living. I was confident the same would happen to you.” Titus rose and took a step toward Lexa. Clarke quickly halted him by knocking him back to his knees and holding the knife to his throat once more.  
“Clarke, don’t,” Lexa said, hoarsely. “He needs to live to in order to complete the ritual and advise the next Commander.   
“Why doesn’t he just put it back in you?”  
Lexa looked directly at Titus, “he’s already prepared the Conclave. They all think I am dead.”  
Titus looked at the ground. “The spirit of the Commander needs to inhabit someone who will not let their weakness show.”  
“Let him go, Clarke. If being with you is weakness, then I no longer desire strength.” Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes. Finally, Clarke saw the love there she hadn’t seen since Lexa returned from the brink of death. Lexa held out her hand, drawing Clarke near and whispered, “Aden will not move against Skaikru, Clarke. He vowed fealty to you.”  
Clarke opened the door to find Octavia now standing guard. “Take Titus back to Polis, Octavia. Now.” Seeing the heat in Clarke’s eyes, Octavia didn’t ask any questions, but attentively escorted Titus away. After closing the door, Clarke leaned with her back against it for a while, looking at Lexa.  
Lexa simply smiled, “it’s my someday, Clarke.”  
Finally realizing that they were free to be together, Clarke rushed over, knelt in front of Lexa and kissed her. When they separated, they were both crying. But they were also smiling. Carefully, using strength she didn’t know she had, Clarke lifted Lexa from the chair and placed her in the bed.   
As Clarke covered Lexa with the final blanket, and turned toward the chair, Lexa grabbed her wrist. “Not there.” She reached over and pulled the blankets down on the other side of the bed. Smiling, Clarke gladly laid down beside her.  
“What now?” Clarke asked, as she pulled Lexa in close.  
“I can’t stay here forever, it’s too much of a risk. As soon as I am well enough I will leave. “  
“Where will you go?”  
“Well, you survived out there, after banishing yourself.” Lexa didn’t dare mention the circumstance that caused Clarke to make that decision.  
Frowning, Clarke propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at Lexa. “Will I ever see you again?”  
“We’ll figure something out, Clarke. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” Lexa reached up and pulled Clarke’s face down, embracing Clarke’s lips with her own.  
Feeling less than satisfied, but also knowing it was the only option, Clarke turned on her side, so the two were facing the same direction, and matched the shape of her body to fit in perfectly behind Lexa’s. When she placed her hand on Lexa’s hip, Lexa’s own hand followed and, automatically, their fingers laced together.  
They laid against each other into the early morning hours, planning ways to make their life more than just surviving.


End file.
